Because of a lack of internet availability lately I have not been able to blog. I have started this entry 3 different times so if it seems a little jumbled together it is because it is. :) My Title of this blog has changed over and over as the days have gone on. Ground Zero, So Blessed, What could Happen now?, What is next?, Is this really happening?, and We are on a vacation that we didn't really plan to take, were some of the many titles that I thought I might use. But as you can see it has changed again. :)
I know that most people know what has been going on in our life right now but for all those that don't know and for those that want more details, here they are. If someone would have told me what was going to happen on Wednesday November 4th 2009, I am not so sure I would have believed them. It was a day for a birthday party, a day for lots of crazy fun things but, that is not what happened. It turned into a day of a lot of mixed emotions. My day started with my frustrations high that my husband was still in bed at 6:30 when I wanted to get up and get my day moving. I had about 24 toddlers and there mom's coming at 12:00 for a Birthday Party for Ashlynn's 2nd Birthday and I had way too much to still get ready. I was not sure what time Brian had come home from work the night before but I knew it was late but none the less I was frustrated because my thoughts were" if you are going to be here then get up and help me". I got up and started my day trying to get things ready for the party and get the kids ready for school and at 7:15 I went in and told Brian if he was going to be home then he need to get up and help. At that point he told me that he had gotten home at 5:30 am and I felt bad for being so frustrated but, the party was still going to happen and I still needed help so I left the room hoping he would get up soon. I was just about to walk out the door to take the kids to school when I realized Brian was in the shower and once again I was frustrated because I would have loved to have had a shower but had run out of time and I would have loved to leave the two little girls with him to make my dropping off Austin and Brooklynn at school a lot easier but I loaded everyone in the car and took off down the road in not such a good mood (this was a huge blessing that I had the girls and that they were not in the house when this happened). I drop off Austin and Brooklynn at school and was thinking to myself that there was no way I was going to make it to the store in time before the party. I began to re-plan the party's lunch menu when I decided to stop at the little store on the corner (Apple) on the way home. I went in and got a dink and a package of chocolate donuts for Ashlynn and headed for home. My mind still just going 90 miles an hour thinking about how I was going to get everything ready for this party that was only 3 hours away. I opened the garage door and put my car in park opened my car door and began to step out just in time to see the garage door to the house fly out at me and I heard a very loud bang. I knew right away that it was the refinery and all I could think was get out. Brian get out. It was the sickest feeling in the world. I opened the door to see a huge fire ball through the window. I was not sure if it was still coming towards us or not. I just kept yelling Brian get out get out get out. Brian came around the corner from the front room and we ran in to the garage. I just kept telling Brian get in, get in and he got in my car and I loaded his chair in the back of my car. But then my motherly logic took over and I realized without the breast milk in my fridge and my pump my baby would not be able to eat. I quickly looked to the side of my house and saw a huge black cloud and thought I am just going to run and get the milk and then we are out of here. So I ran in and that is when the destruction of my home really hit me. There was glass everywhere things were broken and all over the floor. I grabbed the things and went outside just shaking. At this point I was thinking of all the other things that I just couldn't replace like my pictures, I then went in again and once again came out just shaking. I went in a third time and at this point I saw our camera on the kitchen counter and began to take pictures and I just couldn't stop shaking. So I went back outside. At this point I decided that I just had to tell myself "this is not my house" and I just kept saying it over and over in my head and then everything just kinda went numb and I was able to get things in and out of the house without shaking so much. Just minutes after the explosion people started showing up to help and Andy had got Brian's wheel chair out of the car and Brian was coming in the house. I thought to myself "well if you are getting out then I guess we are getting more things out of the house". I went in and got my hope chest that my grandpa made for me I just dead lifted it and carried it to Brian's Car. (I am still not really sure where I found the strength to do this, I still have bruises on my arms from doing this). The next few hours seem to just all blur together. The phone didn't stop ringing and then there was the people that we needed to call and then our things just being carried out of the house and loaded in to vehicles was just udder chaos. My sister came and took my two little girls and I kept checking my phone for fear that I was going to forget to pick up one of my other kids. It seem like my life was out of my hands and I was not sure what to do and then it all stopped. We had gotten out what was most important and what we need to have to live but now what? At some point early on they told Linda my neighbor that she couldn't go into her house that it was un-stable and then after a little bit they gave her 30 minutes to get everything out. Were we next? Now hours latter and Now what? I walked around looking at all the damage and all the broken things in disbelief. Around 2:00 pm I begin to realize that we were going to need a new place to live until our house could be fixed. I had heard talk of staying at a hotel but, with 4 kids and a husband in a wheel chair that really didn't sound like very much fun. So thinking really hard I realized that there was a rental up the road that just became empty two days before. Could it work? Was it still available? So I headed down the road to look and it just happened to be open. I looked around and thought that it could probably work but that it would be really tight in a couple of places for Brian. So I went to get him to see what he thought. Hours later the rental agreement was in the works and we had a place to go in a few days after they got it cleaned up and got our stuff moved over. But what about until then? What was going to happen to our house and all our stuff and where were we going? Well after spending over a week at a hotel (with sick kids, not really the vacation I was looking for), having a company pack our stuff for us, talking to a million news people, taking a million pictures of our broken house and having a ton of meetings with multiple people . We are at the rental. The rental is about half the square feet of our home but it is better than a hotel or an apartment. So here we are now. We still don't completely have a plan for our house they tell us our home is 75% destroyed. So now it is up to the insurance to decide what to do. They may just bulldoze our house and start all over or they may take it piece by piece and re build it. Either way they have told us probably at least 6 months but probably more. I guess we will see.
Things I have learned or been reminded of:
- Having a moving company pack for you is not all it is cracked up to be. (Other people don't really care about your stuff)
- I have amazing Neighbors and Friends (Thank you so much for all you have done for us)
- It is ok to be frustrated at your husband (It just might get him out of the bed that was covered with glass) (It might also get him to pick up the books in the front room that he never picks up :) and keep him out of the kitchen that had shards of glass go everywhere)
- A garage is a very nice thing to have. (You don't realize this until you don't have one to park in)
- Family is really the most important thing.
- Almost everything is replaceable.
- My Heavenly Father really is mindful of me
So that is what is going on with the Horne family right now. This is not really what I wanted to be blogging about. We had all kinds of Halloween fun and other fun things I wanted to blog about but, this is where we are at now and I will have to go back some day and blog about those things latter when I get all the boxes unpacked.
